And Liam makes five: International adoption answers Hattiesburg family’s desire to help a special needs child
After just a few months in America, little Liam Frost is already a lot like his Hattiesburg peers.
He loves snacking on Cheerios, bedeviling his big sisters and snuggling in his mother’s lap for story time.
It’s a slice of family life Liam never knew in China, and Keith and Jennifer Frost are grateful they can give the almost 2-year-old a home.
For Jennifer, it’s the answer to a longing that began at age 15, when she first watched the Christian music video “When Love Takes You In” by Steven Curtis Chapman.
Chapman’s tribute to his own adopted children touched Jennifer in a way she would never forget. “I felt like God put that in my heart and that was something he wanted me to do,” she said.
Still, she had to wonder: Would she marry a man willing to embrace her idea? “Keith wasn’t even in the picture then,” she said of her husband of 10 years.
Keith obviously has a heart for helping others. He makes and fits prosthetic limbs and braces at Methodist Orthotics & Prosthetics in Hattiesburg. Still, Jennifer was a bit nervous when she first broached the idea of bringing home a child from China.
“I was pregnant with our daughter, Alyssa, when I worked up the courage to bring it up,” she said. “I was grateful he gave it a lot of serious thought, and once God put it in his heart, he was just as excited about it as I was.”
“What convinced me is I wanted to help out a child that was going to have a hard life without a family,” Keith said. “We ended up adopting a special needs child because we figured why not adopt a child who needs more support.”
The decision didn’t surprise Chris Wallace, director of Methodist Orthotics & Prosthetics, a division of Methodist Rehabilitation Center in Jackson. He has seen how much Keith cares for people with amputations and other disabling conditions.
“Keith has proven time and again to be a giving person, whether that giving takes the form of mission work in Haiti or adopting a child with unique needs or simply going the extra mile at work,” Wallace said. “He is dedicated to serving others.”
In China, adoptees with special needs are known as waiting children, said Jennifer. And the Frosts fully expected to become parents of a child with physical limitations. But the toddler they brought home in November actually has few obvious disabilities, despite having a rough start in life.
“Somebody found him wrapped in a blanket on the side of the road,” Jennifer said.
Just a few days old and apparently premature, the baby called Xie Yun Zai was later diagnosed as being developmentally delayed. And since he’s small for his age and behind on a few milestones, he’s taking advantage of two local programs that provide therapy and educational instruction.
“But I don’t consider him special needs, and I never have,” Jennifer said. “In a couple of years, I think he will be on par with everything.”
Now known by his Scottish-sounding name that actually has Asian origins, Liam seems to have adjusted well to his new surroundings.
Dressed in tiny khakis and a blue button-down shirt, he looked like a pint-sized Southern gent during a recent photo session with his adoring big sisters, Alyssa, 6, and Kaylie, 4.
“They fell in love with him immediately and were like two mother hens,” Jennifer said. “But it took a little while for him to adjust. He doesn’t like for people to be all over him and the girls are very touchy-feely. He pushed them away, at first. But the longer we have him, the more comfortable he is with them.”
Jennifer admits to a few adjustment issues, as well, but they have more to do with Liam’s gender than his cultural heritage.
“The girls were both scaredy-cats, and I didn’t have to be paranoid that any second they might leap off the couch,” she said. “But he is a daredevil and has no fear. I was unprepared for the amount of destructiveness he was capable of and how he purposefully seeks out things to mess up.”
It’s the reason one of Liam’s first English words was no, and why there’s now a baby gate barricading the toilet. “Every time I would turn my back, he would grab the first thing he could find and throw it in the toilet,” Jennifer said. “I could hear him in there saying no, no, no.”
Alyssa and Kaylie are home-schooled, so Liam spends most days happily shadowing his sisters.
When they do school work, he colors or works on wooden puzzles. “He likes to do everything, you’re doing,” Jennifer said. “If you’re sweeping the floor, he wants to sweep the floor. He loves interacting with people.”
The Frosts want their son to be aware of his heritage, and they hope to give him opportunities to interact with other children from China.
“He already has two friends the same age from China that live here,” Jennifer said. “It’s not as unusual as you might think.”
The Frosts say international adoptions have their frustrations, including copious paperwork, language-barriers, adoption expenses and long plane trips with a tot in tow. But they’ve found the rewards far outweigh the challenges.
“Men are often afraid they might not be able to bond with their child,” Keith said. “But if you are a loving parent and you are devoted, I don’t believe you will feel any differently than you do with your biological child.”
“I’ve never had any doubt that we’ve done the right thing,” Jennifer said. “It’s just as much a blessing for us as it is for him.”